


Bowling Party

by Solariis



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Birthday Party, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, Reader-Insert, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solariis/pseuds/Solariis
Summary: How do you celebrate your boyfriends' 59th birthday? Go to a bowling alley, of course.Oh, and don't forget his six siblings, who are also turning 31 on the same day.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 93





	Bowling Party

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARGREEVES' SIBLINGS
> 
> But especially to you, Five. ❤️
> 
> Just something short, sweet and nonsensical to celebrate the birth of seven amazing people.

"You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?"

Five looks over at his bed where the little black rectangle sits.

"Oh, is _that_ what that thing is for?" he says, turning back around to his desk to continue working on his papers.

You roll your eyes and step further into his bedroom, hovering over him and looking down at the thesis he's been working on for the past few weeks. Most of it really flies over your head, especially since he's using a much fuller vocabulary than you care to make sense of.

You give a pat to his shoulder, "Seriously, we leave in an hour and you're not even dressed."

"I'm in uniform," he replies, his pen writing smooth, perfect cursive line after line.

You frown and pinch the fabric of his shoulder, tugging at the blazer. He only has so many of these he can wash and re-wear and you're really starting to get sick of it being the only outfit he walks around in. You think he has the potential to look so handsome if he put effort into it. Well, more handsome than usual.

"Exactly,” you say, looking at your watch. You're going to be late if he keeps this up.

"I don't have anything else that fits properly," he mutters and reaches for a bottle of white-out.

"We just went shopping last month, where did all of those clothes go?" you say, moving over to his wardrobe and opening both doors to see the crease-free, never worn pieces still hung there from when you put them up.

"Turns out, I don't like any of them.”

"You’re breaking my heart, babe,” you reach forward and grab a nice pink blazer, “I spent a long time watching you go in and out of the dressing room at the mall."

"Cry me a river," he replies.

You scoff and turn to look at him, "Fine, don't come with me to celebrate _your_ birthday. I’ll just tell your mom on you."

He finally looks away from his desk, leaning back against his chair and looking at you incredulously.

"I can't believe you're pulling the parent card on me."

"Is it working?"

"...give me that one button up I liked."

* * *

  
Klaus is the first to notice you two and he comes hopping over the bench with a big smile on his face, “Five! I’m so glad you could come.”

“Cut the shit. Give me a drink,” Five says, squinting up at his brother. Without missing a beat, Klaus picks up a plastic cup of beer from the table and hands it over.

“Thanks for getting him here, y/n,” Allison smiles at you from her place on the bench.

“I should be thanking _you_ for corralling everyone else,” you chuckle, making your way over to the party table.

There are typical snacks, pitchers of beer, and a large cake propped up on a decorative center piece, baked by Grace herself. There's a large banner strung along the edge of it with balloons and confetti thrown haphazardly everywhere. The carpet is a deep blue with neon funky shapes, a retro 80's song plays over the speakers. Whichever of the siblings decided to have the birthday party at the bowling alley this year is an absolute genius in your book. As you stuff a mini pretzel in your mouth, you watch as Diego tries to teach Grace how to properly roll the ball, Ben and Vanya discuss which song to play on the jukebox next, Luther nearly slipping on the lane as he gets too close for his throw and Allison and Five settling in with Klaus at the benches.

You stock pile a little plate with snacks before making your way over to them and flopping down next to Klaus, who is currently adding you and Five in to the next round on the screen.

"I've always wanted a big joint birthday party like this since we were kids,” Allison admits, nursing her own cup of beer. She has a cheap plastic tiara on her head and a 'Birthday Girl' banner around her chest.

"Should have ordered a bouncy castle for the parking lot," Klaus says once he's finished, a tiara also on top of his head.

“Where can I get one of those banners and who's going to help me put it on Five?” you say, grinning big and watching your boyfriend glare at you over the rim of his cup.

“I'll do it,” Vanya says as she walks up, smiling warmly and resting her hands on Five's shoulders.

“No one is going to wrap a bright blue plastic ribbon around my chest,” he seethes.

“What about pink?” Allison starts to grab at her own and he reaches over to smack her hand.

“Alright, that's game,” Luther finally joins you all, giving you a wave once he sees you. He has his own 'Birthday Boy' banner on, though it's wrapped around one of his arms instead.

“Oh, we need shoes!” you stand up, handing Luther your plate of snacks and rushing over to the service counter.

When you get there, Ben has finally made a choice on the jukebox and comes up to you, giving you a nudge with his shoulder. As you order yours and Five's sizes, you make small talk with him and flick the paper party hat he has on his head a few times. Once you're back to the seats, you eagerly change out your shoes, excited to bowl with all of your friends.

“That was so much fun, although, I could do with some practice,” Grace says as she comes over to everyone. You think she looks fantastic, outside of the house and in a pair of jeans for once.

“You'll get better with time, mom, don't let these goons trick you into a competition,” Ben says, gesturing to the other boys.

“There's no competition to trick her into,” Luther states, making specific eye contact with Five, who only stares right back at him in defiance.

“Speak for yourself, bro. I'm a champ at this,” Diego says as he restarts the game on the screen.

“ _Please,_ ” Five just scoffs and stands, making his way to the rack and picking out a ball.

“Please what? You think you can aim better than _me?_ ” Diego challenges and everyone else rolls their eyes almost simultaneously.

“I don't think I can. I _know_ I can,” Five then grins, gripping his ball tighter.

“Oh no,” you, Vanya and Ben say in unison.

Over the next twenty-five minutes, Luther, Five and Diego proceed to battle one another in bowling, officially ruining this match for anyone else attempting to play. At some point, you just stop trying and roll the ball just to get your turn over so the three of them can continue their fight, trash talking and showboating the entire way through. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find it incredibly entertaining and charming, the way they all take it so seriously. At some point, you begin to hype your boyfriend up and join him in the trash talking.

“I'm just gonna...” Ben mumbles as he slowly pulls the pitcher of beer off the table, returning it to one of the employees before things get worse.

"Take notes," Five grins and throws, the satisfying thump of the ball on the polished wood floor is followed by an even more glorious rumble of all the pins falling down in a single strike.

Diego smacks his leg and points at him, “No fucking way, this is rigged! You went back in time and rigged this whole match!”

“Are you seriously accusing me of using my powers in order to win a _bowling match?_ ”

“Yes, don't lie to me!”

“Bold of you to assume I need powers to beat you.”

“Out of the way,” Allison huffs, elbowing her brothers to the side and taking up her turn at the lane.

“You know, I originally suggested mini-golf, but that might have turned out even worse than this,” Vanya says to you.

“Oh, that would have absolutely just devolved into beating each other with putters,” you reply, pulling out your phone to take a quick video of the siblings bickering.

Klaus snickers from his place with Grace, his head on her lap and her fingers playing with his hair, “Reminds me of that old vine where the kid just vaulted himself into the pond after missing the shot.”

“Yes, oh my god!” you laugh and clap at the memory, setting your phone in your lap.

"Way to go, Allie," Luther says, getting a high-five from her as she finished her turn.

“Don't fraternize with the enemy,” Five pushes his finger at Luther's chest, who just walks up to the lane.

“You know what they say, the enemy of my enemy...” Luther mutters.

“This is a good birthday party,” you smile, leaning against Vanya to take a selfie with her.

“Definitely better than any we've had before,” Ben replies, his legs tucked up on the bench with him.

“We didn't have birthday parties before,” Five says, sitting down next to you and looking for his cup which seems to have gone missing.

“I think that's what he meant,” Klaus comments, sitting up and getting ready to take his turn.

“So not only did you have to share your birthday with six other siblings, but you also didn't even celebrate?” you ask.

“Reginald wasn't one for large gatherings or commotion inside of the mansion,” Grace says with a look of disdain on her face, “That's why I really wanted to do something different this year, especially since I finally have all my children together again.”

“Aw,” Klaus leans against her and she grabs his hand with a smile.

“Thank you, mom,” Vanya and Ben say together.

Five stays silent, but you see his face soften at her words and you give him a nudge that he reciprocates. The competition seems to die down after that and everyone has a bit of a better time just enjoying the game for what it is. At some point the lights dim and the black light in the bowling alley turns on, you and the siblings all pointing out each part of clothing that shines in the light. You tease Allison about her pearly whites shining blue under the light and Five gets caught up looking at the pattern of moons on his shirt glowing. You take as many photos as possible with all of them and even catch a few good candid shots of them with one another, laughing and having a great time.

Luther gets up to play, and he throws his ball too hard, chucking it right into a hanging TV, smashing and breaking the entire thing. No one can stop themselves from laughing, Vanya and Klaus brought to tears as Allison and Grace attempt to help Luther talk to the staff and apologize for the unintended vandalism. Luther orders another pitcher of beer, and everyone gets a good buzz going. Ben takes you and sneaks off to the arcade section where you attempt to win him an octopus plush from the claw machine and he swears to beat the highest score on pinball.

Klaus migrates over after you two, backseat gaming the whole way through. He tries to help you win the plush but you both know that these machines are rigged and there's no way you're getting it, it's one of the bigger dolls in there, too. He eventually leaves to bother Five for change, who reluctantly comes over and spends a couple of bucks to get quarters. He stays, and you play a couple of rounds of air hockey. You two get so aggressive that you end up knocking the puck out of bounds multiple times, one of those times catching Ben in the middle of his back and making him miss the shot on his last ball. Vanya comes looking for you all at the perfect time to console Ben on his missed high-score opportunity and telling the both of you to apologize to him for it. You do, though Five comments that he thinks he was overreacting, which Ben replies by picking him up and tossing him over his shoulder.

You laughed as your boyfriend screams bloody murder, smacking at Ben's back and kicking his legs to no avail, Ben parading him around the little arcade room and laughing so hard tears come to his eyes. When he eventually lets him down, Five is red faced and embarrassed so you help him calm down with some affection and assurance that he deserved it for being a bit of a prick. He gets over it rather quickly, or at least pretends to by getting involved with Klaus in a fighting game and staying far away from Ben. Vanya takes him back over to the bowling lanes and you linger to watch Klaus try to teach Five how to play Mortal Kombat, amused at how he keeps talking about the realism in the game and how ' _it doesn't look like that when you take someone's head off in real life_ '.

“Boom!” Klaus shouts, spinning away from the arcade cabinet and making soft cheering noises.

“I would break his thumbs right now if I could,” Five mutters, the ' _FATALITY_ ' on screen washing red over his features.

“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” you say, leaning against the cabinet to get a good look at his face. He's smiling.

“Guys, are you gonna play the next round?” Allison asks as she walks up, her banner and tiara taken off at this point.

“Maybe a few more,” you say and the boys follow suit. They start up another round, everyone a bit more tipsy and bad at the game by now.

Klaus sneaks up behind Diego as he goes to bowl, jumping and scaring him right when he goes to throw and making him miss the last shot, his bowling ball rolling right into the gutter. It's funny, until Diego starts to make a scene about it and you sigh.

"Diego, calm down, we're here to have a good time," you say, throwing a pretzel piece at the two of them.

Diego catches it and makes a face at it in his hands, “Yeah, alright.”

"Hey, all I do is have a good time," Klaus remarks, running away from Diego before he can get smacked.

"Why do they behave for you?" Five asks, leaning back against the bench and crossing his legs.

"Because I don't belittle them every chance I get," you reply.

He scoffs, "They know I care about them."

"Sure they do, but you could dial back the 'tough-love' you know," you pat his knee.

“You’re questioning my methods of affection?”

“I’m not questioning them, I’m saying they need work.”

"Excuse me for falling in love with you, then. You must think I hate you."

"Actually, you're rather sweet with me when no one is around."

He stares at you, some hair falling into his face as he slowly bounces his leg.

“Well, it turns out I liked you a lot more than I originally planned. So there's that,” he almost whispers, his eyes glimmering.

You don't know how to handle the sudden affection from him, especially since he's so cautious about doing it in front of others. It fills your chest with warmth and your cheeks flush, it doesn't help that he looks so handsome in the black and white moon button up and jeans.

“...I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass,” you eventually say, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

The song changes over the station, ' _Tainted Love_ ' slowly starts to play. You, Klaus and Vanya all gasp, looking at one another in understanding.

“What, whats going on?” says Luther, mid bite of a hotdog.

“It's a gay thing,” Diego says, brushing him off.

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene,” Klaus says as he stands up, jumping off and over the bench to get to a clearing in the floor where he can dance under the black-light.

You laugh and run after him, Vanya right behind you until all three of you are dancing like idiots together. You don't notice when Diego gets up to join you, but you take him by the hand anyway and he spins you around. The four of you shout the lyrics out, not caring about any other patrons in the bowling alley as you just enjoy the time spent together.

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots,” he says while chuckling, drinking down another cup of beer.

“Oh, we mustn't forget before we go,” Grace says, standing up and walking over to the party table.

She uncovers the cake and pulls it to the edge of the table, starting to clean off the mess to make it look more presentable. Five and Allison stand up to help her and Luther has to rummage around the bench and tables to find the pack of candles. By the time the song is finished and the four of you are returning, Grace is sticking the numbered candles into the top of the cake. You rush in to get a picture of it before anything could happen to the craftsmanship; a lovely two tiered white cake with black borders and an umbrella fondant decoration on the side. The candles are red and read '31' on the very top. She smiles at her work and looks over the photos you've taken while everyone waits for Ben to go to the bathroom before starting.

Once all of the siblings are together, you take a picture of them grouped by the end of the table, the cake in the middle.

“You guys are so attractive it's actually unfair,” you say in disbelief.

“We try,” Five comments and it gets a laugh out of everyone.

Taking a few more pictures of the family, they eventually yank you in and squish you between all of them so Grace can take a few photos of you with the siblings. Vanya suggests to do a more funny kind of photo, and you end up being picked up sideways by her, Five and Allison in the front. This continues, with various different poses and faces; One where everyone has their eyes closed, one where you're all sticking your tongues out and scrunching up your noses, and one where you all try to wrap your arms around each other, Five looking the most disgruntled in the last one.

Eventually it's time to light the candles and you set you camera up to record, propped onto of Allison's purse to keep it steady. Grace quickly gives the two numbers a light, stepping back with you before you both start to sing. Even though it's just the two of you singing, all of the Hargeeves' siblings feel a sense of importance and sudden appreciation wash over them, causing a good about of them to get teary eyed halfway through the song. Ben can't help but laugh when you two have to go through each one of their names in order, but by the end, they're all silent with flushed features and wet eyes. Vanya is the one to lean forward and blow the candles out, and everyone claps for each other, exchanging personal 'Happy Birthday's to one another.

Diego sneaks a swipe of frosting and rubs it all over Allison's face, who gasps and reaches for the cake to get a handful and smash it back at him. Before it can turn into a full fight, Grace rushes in and takes the cake away from them, but it doesn't stop everyone from using the bit of cake on Diego's face to spread around on each other's clothes. When Luther tries to get you, however, you end up running around nearly the entire establishment, screaming the whole way through about how you _really_ like this shirt. As cake is served and everyone calms down, the night coming into a lull, you take a good look around at all of them, cherishing these kinds of moments with your new found family.

Slowly, everyone starts to pack up and leave, hugs and cheek kisses exchanged. You ask Five to stay back so you could help clean up with Grace and Diego, so he joins in as well. Saying goodbye to grace and Diego, you both pile into the cab and nearly melt into the plush seats after such a long night, Five leaning against your shoulder and watching the buildings pass by outside of the window.

“Did you have fun?” you whisper into his hair. He turns and looks up at you, a bit of frosting still along his jawline. 

You wipe it off for him and he smiles, “Yeah. I did. Thank you for a great birthday, y/n.”


End file.
